I am a mess of emotions. Sinking deep into despair, frozen by the ice clinging to the headlights. At least I've been travelling and got somewhere with work today. All day I've been getting cut up in pieces by thoughts of him, just wondering if he believed in me and wanted me to do well and be better. I just want to know his motives for no contact; and even if there's a chance to keep him in my life. Let's face it, I've only given up because I gave no energy and the dark is on the brink of spilling out and I won't be able to control it if I do. Sunday is going to be hell. I never wake up at 6, ever. Family is the shittest thing ever. Unless of course you're Ruby and lose your mother. I just can't believe that is how they let her go. I also saw the part where April slept with Heath even though he's at least 8 years older. It got me thinking of giving in to him and just getting it over with. They had a friendship though, they understood small parts of each other, and we don't. Plus I don't think she was even bothered about the emotions. I would become too emotionally involved, even though I don't even want to hear the word relationship. So I really don't know. I've been crying all day, it's probably the hormones but still. I wish someone could get close and love me like
Embrace me for eternity..
No comments:
Post a Comment