The dark seems endless in winter, time; lots of it during train rides. Time to reflect, time to miss, time to enjoy some peace because before not too long there's the busy movement and dreary days. I'm seriously tired by the end of every night yet I almost punish myself to stay awake; stay up for a boy's attention. How very typical of me. I remember the dream of him still so vividly. Laying under a tree, saving me and telling me all of those wonderful things. Words are more than life, they are tools in which evil men lure young girls to bed with. All of those misinformed "I love yous" and subtle flirting hints. Perhaps that's all it was, a way to get under my skin. I'll never know now, at least I doubt I will.
Depressive mothers ignore their children's needs more and therefore affecting their future chances in life, personality and other development, as well as future relationships of course. I just really wish the damage could be reversed, that parents could magically learn these things. I want to be like everyone else a little more, to blend in and feel at ease. I'm tired of living on the edge. I don't remember featuring this yesterday, but I got a first in counselling skills and two marks off a first in CRM. I'm pretty happy, I guess.
I wouldn't mind if we could do this, a little while longer. Chasing time, travelling faster into the distance, into the darkness of the night. Forever and ever this could go on, and I wouldn't mind. Time almost stands still when you are travelling.
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