There are ghosts everywhere.

I can't come to terms with losing you; I mean, every single day you are in my thoughts, my deepest desires. If only I had one more chance to talk to you, all of the words I could say, that I need to say. I keep wanting to try one last attempt but, to be honest, I've never regained my strength. I'm a mess, all cut apart; the cuts are jagged fragments of who I used to be. Whom I'll never be again. I don't like being in this limbo, I want to try and talk to you but somehow you are unreachable. I can't fight to stay in your life, I can't even fight to stay alive. Every day is one endless stretch of icy cold winter. Snow falling, upon snow. Thick, heavy and giving that stinging sensation every time there is contact to any form of solution reminding me I'm stuck here for a long time to come.

I remember watching The Sixth Sense when I was way too young, and kind of wanting to believe in the notion that when it was cold; the air you breathed out was the sensation that a ghost was around you. I used to purposefully breathe out a lot (maybe in hope that someone was there for me?) and make believe there were ghosts everywhere. It's always cold enough to pretend some other reality. I didn't want to watch that movie again after the first couple of times of viewing. It creeped me out.

Another mostly wasted day, I just can't seem to keep it together long enough to be able to do anything important. It's meant to snow, and I don't see that encouraging my mood to change, or for me to even go out. I think it's time I started self-medicating.