You're not good for me but baby I want you, I want you.

You set me off, it's like a bright and warm fire engulfing my body from downwards up. All of the possibilites, oh the things you make me think of.

The thing is, I want that care and a little affection from you. If there's that, then sorting out my own self-loathing issues are the only thing left. But right now the focus is still on you. I feel weird saying anything, and I know it's not my place to say. But you've been in my life for almost half of it now and I wish it could be better. I'd like it to happen but I know in my heart I'm not ready for it with you yet, you're not ready for that yet. Even though you're probably the closest to me getting it. I am ready for it, though. I basically can't explain anything.

SHIT. I just remembered I need to take my iron. No wonder i've been feeling extra tired today. What have I accomplished all day? Nothing except thinking thoughts over and over about it, about everything or anything to do with it. Plus, a couple of sentences or so on my assignment.

If you were a better bad boy, maybe there's hope?