I am ashamed to admit that 'Enders made me cry today. I just want someone to have a proper laugh with; giggle like little girls and eat tons of ice cream and have movie marathons. I want challenges at games/videogames, to discuss music and books and boys. I want sleepovers and debates on highly intellectual and current topics. I'd like to learn a lot from this potential person, and maybe integrate some normality in my life. Go out to meals, on shopping sprees and explore new places from road trips. I want to be held in my worst times; a good chat, nice cuddle and some hot chocolate made for me. Always reciprocated of course. Bad breakups and happy occasions; through the thick and thin of it all. I want play fights and disagreements because everything can't be perfect always. Different opinions but always relating to and accepting each other. Trying on different clothes together and styling each other, all the little make up tips and adventurous things to do. Getting nails done and being pampered together, ordering pizza and pushing each other on the swings on summer picnics. Helping each other solve problems, and being supportive no matter what. Encouraging and advising, learning and knowing. Knowing someone will be there forever, no matter the distance or the fights. And all I need is one person to do all of this with. Why can't this come true?
Anyway, today has been productive. I got up and was out by 12, got food for the next week or so and then sorted out some cleaning. It definitley made me feel well accomplished. I sat and did notes/read chapters. So I'm actually getting on with it and it feels good. I just hope I can keep it up. Firmed up some plans for next weekend - and all will be okay (I hope.) Landlord is visiting tomorrow, hopefully I can avoid him for the most part. I plan to get on with revision tomorrow, as well as figure out this dissertation stuff. Back to some relaxation and then sleep, I guess.
I like the way you don't give up, although I tell you otherwise.
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