Today I have been down. I miss him. It's all just getting to me. I was doing slightly better in some of those moments, but I'm breaking again. It was a powerful force, he was strong and its impact will always be felt. I just don't see why I can't forget, you know, not completely of course but just until it was like a hazy memory.
I don't think anything can honestly help me, I've just got to face facts and ride it out. I wish I hadn't pushed him away..I'm all alone again. I don't know, it's all neverending cycles. I don't even care anymore, I just need to change my name, my appearance, location. Everything, so no one will know me and I can blend in anywhere, living vicariously through others' laughter and sadness. Like a ghost.
Positives? I am now used to the idea (mainly) that I am getting fat.
No comments:
Post a Comment