Rambow Mahanoblis.

I just re-watched Hard Candy on iplayer and screencapped a bit. It's funny how something that was released ages ago predicted a part of my life I could never even imagine would exist. Another wasted day though, these are becoming all too familiar. After the motivational talk from my parents at the weekend, I would have thought things may have picked up a little. I guess I've repressed the darkness for now, but it doesn't mean it's not bursting to come out and shows itself in small, ugly ways. I tried to do the simple themes and find the bits relevant from the extracts, but I only managed a slight amount. So basically I've got it all to do over the weekend. And panic. Also on Thursday, if I can manage I kind of plan to go to this fest thing at uni. Just go out, see some faces, experience some things. It'll be the only real event this year. Well, I guess there was one other.

I really just wish I could go out into the world and explore it. There's just so much out there and I want to get started on travelling again. I already feel like I need to leave here, and it would be great to be a traveller, a nomad. Never worrying, always moving, always searching. But then there would be never finding, never having comfort or security. It's all scary, and I was thinking earlier how if it hadn't been for my parents, I actually wouldn't have gone out and seen the world. I would be like every other Joe Bloggs, and I would have in fact, experienced very little. There's also a new couple (maybe with a baby, i'm not quite sure) who moved in to the rented property next door. Probably first time movers. It just annoys me how they're making noise all day, moving things and talking really loudly and stuff. I hope they don't continue to be an annoyance. They even parked their car illegally on double yellow lines. I really hope that the traffic warden patrols the road this week and fines them/reports them and sends them on their way. I just, I couldn't even put the bin out properly. People are now having to cross at other places along the road and it's all shitty. Fuck off back to wherever you came from, k.