Out of reach.

Just watched a movie called The Wackness. Just gets me wishing I could live. I don't know, honestly, how I'm going to get through the rest of my life. Forget all this day by day bullcrap, I don't get my existence at all, and how i'm going to maintain it past next year. I want to give up, always. Because it doesn't get better than this, because that's how we've become on the whole - buying into a fairytale fallacy and each day we grow older it all comes tumbling down on us. It's a way to make humans live I guess, otherwise we'd all just see the truth, the actual sense of life and that, is basically death. Anyhow, I skipped my workshop this morning (ohwells,) and did a bit more work; though on the whole what I have done today has really not been that much. Baby steps, I guess. And then Pia didn't bring her boyfriend into CRM today, so that was a letdown. But I got to talk and discuss work and stuffs with Saj and then yeah. Couldn't find any Time Outs in £1 shop, so I guess i'll get some on Weds along with pizza and junk. Other than that, not much going on really. Got to practically finish my work tomorrow. I feel shitty and sick (I felt almost unable to breathe, like i'd stopped breathing during the night, when I woke up this morning.)